Insight into my brain, evening time 2year ago.

The clock hits 7.00, the family are fed, bathed, little ones tucked into bed.  Chores for the day completed... This should be bliss. 


But all I can think of is the overwhelming familiar feeling creeping up.  It's now time to wind down, to relax, how do you relax again? I've forgotten how to do it.  Maybe there is another load of washing I can do.  Must keep busy.  Maybe there's something I can do in preparation for tomorrow. Potter about for another hour tire yourself out. Other half asking to watch a film, a really good sequel to one we watched a few year back.. anything but watching a film please God no.. .Give it a try anyway. *5 minutes into the film*  What if my family member who is in ill health dies tonight.. Mam hasn't replied to last message is she ok?.. Will I complete my report at work tomorrow by the deadline?.. Did I offend Sue from work last week when I made that comment?? Has she been off with me since??.. When do the kids have that school trip again?? is it next week, must check calendar.  That's it..  Make excuses to partner, something I remembered I need to do.  We will watch the film another night. Why is it impossible to sit still and relax, can't stop fidgeting, itchy nose, leg is uncomfortable, itchy knee, CONSTANT THOUGHTS.  Watched 5 minutes and didn't hear one word.   Must check the windows upstairs are locked.  Actually while I am up here might as well get kids P.E kits out, don't need them until next week but no worries, just need to keep busy, keep organised, what if I forget next week? Must keep busy.  Must not stop being busy.



Can anyone relate?  That was my life constantly a few year back,  life isn't still all rosy and I still suffer with anxiety but now I am able to manage it better and would like you share with you how I do this.  I would just like to repeat what I said earlier, I am not a doctor and I don't proclaim to be an expert, I am just like you.  What works for one may not work for all, there may be things you try and think hmmm that isn't for me, it's all about trying what works for you and if something does then great.  Below are some night time routines  which has greatly improved the sheer hell I used to go through every night on the hope that it will help someone else out too. 

Night time routines for a better sleep

Bath time
When feeling particularly anxious I love nothing more than a nice hot bath, bubbles, face masks, relaxation music, candles.  The full shebang.  Sounds so cliché but I do this pretty much every night now when I am beginning to wind down.  A quick search for 'relaxation sounds' or 'relaxation music' on YouTube and your away.  I try to close my eyes, soak in the bath and something which I will mention a few times is to try and let your thoughts drift to nothing but your breathing.  Stupid huh?  Telling someone with anxiety not to think is like telling a 5 year old not to touch something they shouldn't!! Near impossible, and  your going to do it anyway.  But all you can do is  try just concentrating on your breathing and every time another thought pops into your head try and just think about breathing deeply. 


Reading
Reading in a nice quiet comfortable space usually works wonders.  Agreed sometimes it is hard to concentrate on the book with these thoughts swirling round your head (also I appreciate the quiet space can be hard if you have children!)  But find something you really like the sound of and persevere I find reading on a night is a big help for me.  I can sometimes read half hour of a book and drift straight off to sleep.  Books are my miracle.

No technology in the bedroom
I can guarantee you've heard this one before, a quick search of technology in the bedroom will bring thousands of pages up about how it is affecting our sleep and admittedly I don't follow this rule strictly.  I am partial now to the occasional binge of series in bed with my partner on a weekend. But I have made a conscious effort over the years to ban phones/tablets in the bedroom full stop! Studies show that no technology in the room increases sleep.  Winner.


Relaxation exercises
These are miracles, trust me.  I learned about the benefits of relaxation techniques in counselling and also in an amazing self help conference I attended, everyone who took part in this and tried at home agreed it worked. I find this works best when your ready to sleep,  I recommend doing it when you first jump into bed, it's cosy, its warm and dark and typical.. your mind is going 100 miles an hour. 

Progressive Muscle Relaxation
This exercise concentrates on tensing and releasing.  By doing this you learn not only what relaxation feels like, but also to recognize when you are starting to get tense during the day.


This can be done with or without relaxation music, if I need to relax throughout the day I will use music, but it sort of defeats the object if your following the 0 technology rule in the bedroom.  I mentioned earlier about breathing, begin by concentrating on your breathing try and push every thought out of your head and replace it with thinking about your breaths whilst doing this.

Begin by tensing every muscle in your face hold for 5 to 10 seconds then release.  Notice the change Go down your body and move on the next group of muscles (shoulders, arms, hands, stomach, buttocks, legs)   While releasing the tension try to focus on the changes you feel when you relax the muscles.